I’ve been renovating both my work space and my inner space.

My work space is still in flux, but moving my old writing desk from storage into our living space has made a huge difference on my morale, and has given me motivation to do some major cleaning and filing. Which, surprisingly, hasn’t taken very long. Now our tiny living space is much more usable. But the changes are all still in the evaluation phase, and more tweaks and adjustments may be made until I’m happy with where things are.

My inner-space renovations are a little trickier.

I finally recognized one of the biggest things holding me back. We live with my in-laws, and it was always intended to be temporary. It still is. But now, I have lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere else. ANYWHERE else, even as a child. But since this was a “temporary” move, I put everything on hold. My life wouldn’t really start until I was mistress of my own house, and had my own space to settle into, and then I could really get to work.

I’m tearing my hair out, thinking about how self-destructive that has been. >:E And I did it to myself! AAARGH!

So I’ve stopped thinking of this as a “temporary” situation. This is Now. Any changes to Now will be dealt with… in the future. But I need to work Now.

And I will not beat myself up for not figuring this out sooner. Hear me, Self? I often tell my husband “Don’t look back; just look at what you’re doing now and move forward.” I need that advice right now. -_-